Class called to order on this beautiful Tuesday. I won't keep you long, as I have a lot to do. So tell me, how did you fare with yesterday's test? Did you cheat and go buy the book Blogging for Dummies by Brad Hill? Or did you perform a bizarre, ancient ritual for good luck with multiple choice questions handed down from generation to generation in your family (on your Mother's side) to pick the answers?
No matter, for we are moving right along with your education. Today I would like you to grasp The Blog Big Picture...hence the illustration I scanned in above. I want you to examine this old drawing of the columns at Luxor, Egypt. See how teensy-weensy the people are at the bottom, and then move your gaze upward and see how gigantic these columns are? Well, my dear class, I am not going to break it to you gently for that is zero my style. Brutal honesty is what you will find here with your blond babe teacher.
Yes, your blog is THAT insignificant, and as a beginning blogger, you rate very, very low on zee old totem pole. Capische? I am so thrilled I don't have to rate you because this arduous task is already being done by others! Mr. Truth Laid Bear has classified the blogging world into categories beginning with the top ranking of Higher Beings and going all the way down to his lowest ranking of Insignificant Microbes. Quite possibly your delicious teacher is squirming around with all the rest of the microbes. I haven't dared look. Maybe one of you brave souls will do so, and then report back to me where all of us are lurking. Since I never figured out how to put his code into my template, maybe he even wiped me off the microbe list. Mr. Bear, I promise you...eventually this blond will get her shit together and one of these days your funky pajamas will be gracing my sidebar.
Another organization for you to join would be Technorati as they also keep score by counting all the links to your blog. It is very gratifying to see your score getting better every day if you are obsessed by these kinds of things. Of course, your score isn't going to get better if you don't work your tush off, so with that said, I gotta run. Tata darlings. Hit that donate button. Did I forget to say thank you, thank you, thank you? How sorry am I for my forgetfulness. I thank each and everyone!