Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Missed me, didn't ya?

Ok, so I didn't show up for class yesterday! Bite me. I know you dweebs were wondering what I was up to. Since I don't owe you any 'splanations,I will only share there was business to attend to, as I have a life outside this blog! Now that I'm refreshed and ready to roll, let's begin:

Here's my two euros worth about what makes a great blog. First of all, I am picky-picky-picky. Yes, I make mistakes from time to time, and I am mortified when I do so. After all, the whole world can read the mistake. Isn't that enough to give one nightmares? A great blog is one with NO MISTAKES...or very few...and not very often. Great blogging is like anything else. If you're going to blog, put your best effort forth. Pour your passion into it. Work it, baby! If your eyes are crossed from blogging, take a break. Your blog isn't going anywhere UNTIL you push the magic button that says publish. You may find a mistake that eluded you before. The bad blogging faeries love to pull this classic trick on bloggers: now you see it, now you don't. Or did you really? Maybe you were imagining it. No, it's really there. Ha-ha, you've been had by the bad blogging faeries. You really did make a huge spelling idiot out of yourself.

Second, be REAL. Don't b.s....don't think you are clever and will get away with it. Remember, my BLOG-BLOND-BOND eye is upon you. Sociopaths are profiled and oh-so-visible. Bring candor to your postings. YOU have to show-up in your posting. It's ok to be a super hero or whatever you fancy, but truly live that super hero and flesh out your character. Make me buy your alterego.

Third, I don't like LONG blogs. I don't care if you are announcing the most important discovery since the universe began. KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid. I am bored with long posts, and you won't find me checking out your blog again. Bottom-line me, and make it fast. Dazzle me with cute pictures like this blog . They were the People's Choice Winner of the 2006 Webby Awards. Cute Overload is their name, and I subscribe to them so I can get my Daily Dose of Cuteness with my coffee first thing in the morning. Ya see, the teacher does have a soft, mushy spot. Who would guess?

Fourth, if you are pissed-off, take a break and don't go a-blogging. Ya hear me! Same goes if you've been out partying and had four Grande Super Extra Enormous margaritas plus several tequila shooters and some other shit in ya that you can't even remember. Blog Not in your condition. This is an order. Go to bed. Blog sober, straight and mellow. You're outta here if I read one of your dumb-ass blogs when you're out-of-it with anger, revenge, drunk or whatever.

Fifth, be a little daring, a little controversial. Excite me. Surprise me. And while you're at it, post a photo or drawing...something, anything to catch my attention. You know how I hate to be bored! For example, in the first paragraph of this post, instead of writing the word 'explanations', I chose to write it this way which I am sure would force your english teacher to wet her panties: 'splanations. A little of this spice can go a long way, so throw it in with restraint.

Class dismissed. Don't forget to tip the teacher on your way out. Frankly, you owe me. I wouldn't be real if I wasn't doing some guilt tripping, now would I?

Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 2:02 PM

1 Comments

  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Tuesday, June 06, 2006  
    Hey Teach,
    Loosen up. I am having publishing problems and it's harder said than done with fixing spelling, etc.
    So chill those 5 inch spike heals.

    You are one tuff chicky. But you are so right. I missed ya.
    Today is 6-6-6, as you know, so stay out of trouble if you can. Looking forward to another HARD lesson. XX
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