Monday, July 03, 2006

Link Snub



Class...yoo hoo! Your snarky teacher is back and loaded up (or down) with lots of goodies to share with you! First, I presume by now that you have experienced the phenomena known in the blog world (and coined by your very own blondie) as 'Link Snub'. Oh yes, this happens to all of us as bloggers until we become become rich, powerful and famous. For those of you who haven't experienced this phenomena yet, let me explain what Link Snub is, how it feels and how you can sate your thirst for revenge-- but not with this half-empty, delicious Cocoa Cola displayed above. This photo is simply doing it's job as "product placement" which is making in-roads into every aspect of our lives, and since I haven't viewed product placement on anyone else's blog yet, I figured I would lead the way with product placement right here on mine! I am ambitious to monetize my blog, so why not!

Back to being snubbed when you have politely asked some other blogger to reciprocate with a link, and you have already added their link to your sidebar, but they never respond to your email or add your link to their sidebar. So you ask yourself--wassup? Why are they being so rude? How dare they! They probably are exactly what you are thinking they are-- which is TFM for short or Total F****** Morons for long! However, before you get all pissy, cut them some slack and imagine all the reasons why they couldn't respond to you or add your link to theirs. Here are some possible and likely reasons:

1. They are on vacation and don't have access to email or computer.
2. Their computer had a virus and died on them or something like that.
3. They are hospitalized and have a pending date with St. Peter.
4. They are having a crisis of some kind....maybe a tornado snatched them or they got
abducted by aliens who have a different kind of computer system that doesn't allow
blogging (or only censors mirthful blogs) or they got out of the bed on the wrong side, but there wasn't a floor that morning, and then they fell down a black hole into another universe without computers and they have desperately been fighting off hordes of purple, slimy monsters (that actually have a strange resemblance to them in a weird kind of way) trying to get back to their computer to add your link so you won't be fuming about their link snub.
5. They moved to Maui, changed their last name to dolphin, stuck a eagle feather in their hair and are telling everyone they are some grand phoobah shaman and all the woo-woo's buy it. Harems of women/men dote on him/her and bring organic green salads for lunch with freshly squeezed papaya juice. Frankly, he/she could care less about links. What links they ask in their fake French: alors, la! as they raise their hands towards their shoulders with palms outward as their lower lip protrudes at the same time their eyebrows rise. He/she looks so terribly innocent even though that eagle feather most likely was lifted from some poor chap at the Last Burning Man Festival. What they're really wanting to say to you is this: J'm'en fous! Or worse...something like Fug You!

Clearly, you can see from the above listed possibilities (and there are endless ones) that you can't let your mind go nutso about the TFM, now can you?! Don't let it eat at you as a rejection....carry on! Take their link off your sidebar if they haven't responded to you in at least three weeks. That is plenty enough time for them to recover their sanity, return from wherever or die. It's that simple. However, if you're still holding a grudge, go to Amazon.com and type in the word rejection. You will see 616 titles with the word rejection in it. Apparently at one time or another, everyone has been rejected! This list includes God, Jesus, the Beatles, and every successful author, scientist, visionary, and musician at one time or another. Now it's your turn. Hey, you're in good company. Let the TFM eat your dust. Blog on!

Class dismissed....and don't forget to tip the teach! Have a crazy 4th, but not on the roadway...be crazy and kind to all. This will earn you merit so you will get into Bloggers Heaven where lots of schwag awaits you.

Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 5:44 PM

2 Comments

  • Anonymous marie b. posted at Wednesday, July 05, 2006  
    I actually find it to be irritating and inappropriate to email someone asking for a reciprocal link unless they're involved in some link exchange system.

    I mean, I'm flattered when someone links to me but it's just tacky to link to someone for the sole purpose of getting them to link back.
  • Anonymous Fool posted at Tuesday, July 18, 2006  
    Agreed, it is hard to just ask for a link from someone just because you have linked to them. Its totally up to them whether or not they want to link back.

    Further complicating things, Google knows about link exchanges and doesn't really give your blog much love if all of your links are reciprocated. They look for one-way links to your site which indicates to them that you've got something worth linking to.

    Just my two cents though.
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