Friday, November 17, 2006

My Lunch with Sacha

Class, I had lunch recently with my fabulous comedian-in-crime buddy, Sacha, better known to the world as the notorious Borat. Hmmm...Borat rhymes with rat. And spat. Why did I not see this rhyme before now? Oh well...moving on with my story. So Sachy-poo (my pet name for him) and I were slowly spooning some homemade borscht into our mouths and gulping down mangotini after mangotini, and this is what I recall of our conversation. I thought you might enjoy a recounting.

Sachy-poo: I really don't understand why my audience and yours don't get us! (Big slurp with one tear falling into the martini glass)

Blog-Blond: I always had faith that there would be more who see us and know we are really good people who merely enjoy making others feel uncomfortable for laughs. Does this make us horrible sadists? (Wiping away a tear so as not to smudge her perfect makeup)

Sachy-poo: I like to hide behind masks and moustaches. Does that give others a right to beat me up like what happened to me the other day? (Rubbing his jaw)

Blog-Blond: Well, brother, you take your comedy to the outer limits. I have to admit you are very brave with your controversial sketches. I mean some people just can't believe you would go so far! (Slurping away)

Sachy-poo: Ya think they would KNOW I am Jewish! It's preposterous anyone would take my s*** seriously. (Farting for effect)

Blog-Blond: Well, look at the bright side. You're now famous, rich and despised. So what if some idiots don't understand you or get you! People don't get me either, but I haven't become famous and rich yet. Maybe I should start wearing a moustache and polyester clothes....(Burping the borscht)

Sachy-poo: Whatever you do, stay on your kosher diet. (Mumbling some words under his breath which were inaudible but sounded like a famous Yiddish blessing or curse or maybe both together)

Blog-Blond: Are your serious? Don't go getting absurd with me! (Farting for emphasis)

Sachy-poo: I've got an idea for you. Why don't you focus in on some group you like to spoof, write the screenplay, and I'll be your financial backer. (Loud, honking burp)

Blog-Blond: Wow, you'd do that for me?! Let me see....probably I'll take on the mental health professionals--no one is more bizarre than them. Will you play a role in the film? Maybe you could play a psychiatrist or something? (Farting and burping at the same time)

Sachy-poo: But this time the film location has to be totally fictional so I don't receive the wrath of the Romanian gypsies. (Fingering the garlic protector in his pant pocket which looked (come to think of it) rather large for garlic)

Blog-Blond: I'll get to work on this project right away. I might as well cash in your celebrity while it lasts. I know a cash-cow when I drink with one. (Laughing at her own in-joke which only Blog-Blond seemed to get)

Sachy-Poo: Do you need a ride home? I'll call for the limo. (Looking like a gentleman but as we all know, looks and everything else can be deceiving)

Blog-Blond: Nah...I'll catch a cab. (Air kisses and rushing away from the ever expanding garlic)

Technorati Tags:, films,,

Posted by kuanyin333 at 1:34 PM


  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Saturday, November 18, 2006  
    You are the BEST comedy writer bar none! I saw where someone nominated you for an award. You should win it hands down!
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