Saturday, November 25, 2006

Singing The Blogging Blues


Class, I'm back. Aren't you thrilled to have your blondalicious teacher back with her fabulous blog quips, gossip, slags, and tips? You haven't read a post from me lately because a. I've been busy and b. I had a bout of the Blogging Blues. Yes, tis true! It even happened to me, the Blog Queen!

How do you know when the Blogging Blues Bug bites ya? For me this is how the blogging blues manifested: I had zero desire to post because everything seemed futile and nothing excited me, not even my super-expensive, gorgeous La Perla lingerie, my new black over-the-knee Jimmy Choo boots, or my invitation to the party of the year to celebrate the end of the Federline Era. Snarky blogs which used to make me laugh out loud now seemed tame and ho-hum. (Thank Goddess for Go Fug Yourself or my depression would have been way worse! This blogging team has kept me from totally going over the edge.) Movies, tv, and parties were boring because frat boy humor had taken over--the world appeared to be temporarily over-run with wanna-be country singers, wacko politicians, gamer-mad consumers, remote-viewing marketers and sex pervs of all persuasions. What's a blond blogger to do to keep her blog-sanity in this surreal world I asked myself?

Here are the remedies I devised to help me through this Blogging Blues Phase, and I will share them with you in case the Blogging Blues Bug grabs you.

1. Don't go anywhere near your computer until you've consulted an astrologer to see if the stars & planets are aligned and in perfect position for a posting. Wait out the blogging blues...this too shall pass according to my wise ass-trologer. The planets keep moving along, and so will your mood. The urge to post will eventually return. Now is an excellent time for an eccentric blog such as Blog-Blond because a Moon/Neptune conjunction is applying and will be exact tomorrow. If any of my readers know astrology, they will get the joke.

2. Take your inner child out for a treat such as a triple scoop double fudge macadamia coconut sugar cone dribbled with chocolate sprinkles.

3. Do something old-fashioned such as writing an outraged letter to the local editor of your newspaper. This 'venting' exercise is to keep you in top form. Or you could leave random messages under windshield wipers at the malls protesting something, anything. The point of this is to release your boredom, anger, and frustration.

4. Plan a new cult with yourself as the cult leader. You must create an all-knowing stance as if you're in a "higher place". Become a guru by dressing in flowing white robes, remaining calm and not talking. Write inscrutable messages on chalk boards for your followers, and then quickly erase them. Imply secret knowledge and allude to the mysterious. Look deeply into their eyes and pretend they are beautiful. Soon you will find yourself surrounded by followers, and blogs will have faded from your memory.

I hope these remedies will help you as they have me. My living room is packed right now with a crowd of my followers who are impatiently awaiting my arrival, so I must scurry along to throw on my La Perla lingerie under my white silk robe and crystal mala to make my grand entrance.

Technorati Tags:, blog boredom,,


Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 8:14 PM

3 Comments

  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Saturday, November 25, 2006  
    I missed ya teach. Glad you're back again with your funny words!
  • Blogger Mushy posted at Monday, November 27, 2006  
    Wish I was sitting out there waiting on you to serve me up some of your knowledge - wearing nuttin by a smile!
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Wednesday, November 29, 2006  
    Those blogging blues must be easier to get over where you are sittin...Glad you are back!!
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