Wednesday, December 20, 2006

My Breakfast With Santa


Basic set-up: Santa's tres expensive Hickey Freeman suit is neatly placed on the mahogany valet near the bed because he will soon be off to Wall Street to distribute their mega bonus's. He is wearing red silk pajamas (with an elastic waist) which I have graciously provided for his comfort. No hat. No slippers. No underwear. Just pajamas.

I am wearing my tres expensive ivory cashmere robe from Neiman Marcus-- the color looks good with my wheat-colored hair and canary diamonds. No hat, slippers or underwear. Mrs. Claus is off shopping somewhere.

We are noshing on vanilla organic goat cheese yogurt, blinis, and sharing a bottle of Cristal (that's tres expensive champagne for those of you who don't know). I'm mouthing off a bit to Santa because frankly, he could do more for the poor people.

Claus: I hear you've been very naughty this year. I see you haven't straightened up your act.

Blog-Blond: Hey, one of these days, my act will pay off. You'll see--just like those friends of yours, the banksters/gangsters of Wall Street. Have a little faith in me Claus.

Claus: I'm gonna lay some Gold Eagles on you this year because the economy isn't looking so good, and I know how much you love your luxuries. Keep em around--just in case.

Blog-Blond: Yeh, what's the deal anyway! The euro's up, the dollar's down and all around the country people are getting foreclosed on. Where are your super powers when everyone need them?! We need more trickle-around economics than the paltry trickle-down economics which are helping the rich to get richer and the poor more poor. Lay some of those Gold Eagles on everyone. I want everyone to have a Merry Christmas. What's going on with you anyway? I thought Santa was supposed to gift everyone!

Claus: Well, I admit it--I haven't been much into the Christmas Spirit in many a year. I try to give everyone what they want, but the rich simply ask for more with louder voices. That's my job...give people what they want! What am I to do? The poor aren't greedy and loud enough. They write letters asking for iPods, food and shelter while the rich DEMAND and COMMAND islands and new jets. My job is overwhelming--the squeakiest wheels get the grease to use an obnoxious but true cliche.

Blog-Blond: I get where you're coming from. The poor have lost their power, and their self-esteem is so low they don't have enough energy to demand loudly and demand more like the rich do. This scenario has to be changed!

Claus: Well, what do you propose? You're a brilliant lass. Surely you have some ideas.

Blog-Blond: Looking at history, I can tell you what doesn't work! Stealing land, babes and money (ye old raping and pillaging) from others just gives you bad karma to wipe out in yet another million lifetimes. We have to come up with some concept which will bring balance to the world economies and more justice. By the way, I dig your new glasses--very hip. It seems Santa isn't hurting for money, style or the finer things in life. (Said in a sarcastic tone!)

Claus: Ya know I have to look the part. Those raggedy-old red suits with the ugly black belt and clunky boots! Puhlease! I donated all of those atrocious items to Salvation Army years ago.

Blog-Blond: Errr....Claus...are you gay? Like ya know....more than jolly old Saint Nick?

Claus: What if I am?

Blog-Blond: Zero problem with this! My gripe is primarily with inequity. I'll put some thought to it and text mail you some of my ideas. You'd better get dressed and moving because Christmaka is calling. I hear those loud voices too!

Technorati Tags:, Christmas,,


Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 12:33 PM

4 Comments

  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Wednesday, December 20, 2006  
    You're a delicious read. ha ha ha
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Thursday, December 21, 2006  
    F-A-N-T-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!

    I enjoyed the humor and social message so much Kuanyin!

    Santa in red silk pjs and you in your cashmere robe ooooh KINKY!

    You've been very naughty, I told everyone about the vibrating panties you told me about.

    Happy Holidays darling!
    Kisses
    Tisha
  • Blogger Mushy posted at Friday, December 22, 2006  
    MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND!
  • Anonymous Jordan Sneakers posted at Thursday, May 27, 2010  
    The new line is absolutely stunning! I have been so entertained by your blog,keep smiling and take care!
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