And I'm mucking around with my training-wheel blog (not this one!) and trying to add something new on the sidebar as usual when I encounter a major glitch! No matter what I did, I couldn't fix it! So what does your kick-ass hot-headed blond teacher do, why she fires off one of her famous "Help Me" emails of course?! And Glory Be and Hallelujah, there was SOMEBODY HOME! Please note the new sidebar. That's me alright...Storm with blond hair. Uh-uh.
Not only was there somebody home, but after immediate and courteous service, he fixed me right up with colors to match my theme (his idea!) and emailed the code promptly! Now that's what I call a Saint! And I'm gonna name names, like I promised you I would in my first email. His name is: Todd Dunning at WholeLink, a righteous company that links your site up with other sites for FREE! Check it out! You might want it for your blog too.
So what was my problem you ask? Size! I was having a hard time with the fit. I needed it smaller so it would be just right, got me? Now it's a perfect fit with my themed colors, and that makes me purrrrrrr.
I'm still grouchy about other items that won't fit, however, and if these items don't fit soon, then I'm giving them a boot with my Jimmy Choo stilettos.
Speaking of pointy-toed shoes, I am STILL awaiting news from a Blogring I joined that offered an icon of a pair of pointy red stilettos to mark their spot. I have sent them two very polite emails, and yet I have zilch response at the present time. Maybe they are working mothers as they state? Maybe that's why they don't answer me. Yes, that's probably it! So even though I'm craving those red shoe icons, I am going to cut them some slack...for a while anyway.
Your lesson for today as modeled by your fierce, stubborn teacher is to learn the merits of ASKING, PATIENCE, PERSERVERANCE and LETTING GO. These are necessary qualities to develop if you wish to stay a sane blogger.
Ok, Class of Technophobes, here's your first lesson:
Start small. Dream big. Perservere.
That's your pep talk of the day, not let's get down to biz:
I would suggest that you sign up for a FREE account with Blogger or Xanga to begin. For those that don't know what the hell I'm even talking about, here's the actual websites: www.blogger. com and www.xanga.com. Xanga is more of a social networking blog place like MyPlace or AIM, so if you're in that mode, try it. If you want to be left alone to blog without having to make friends or be popular, try Blogger.
I am suggesting these two because they're fairly simple. You want to begin with SIMPLE. You're gonna make some mistakes. You're going to wonder where the $#&^ are the right places to click on to fix things that you've screwed up. You're going to feel overwhelmed by other fancy blogs that you discover as you surf. How do they design all those fancy skins and great headers you will ask yourself. Never you mind. That will come later....much later. So stop looking at those sexy photos, will ya?!
Before you begin comparing yourself to others that have been blogging before you were born or even heard the word or who have a natural talent for it because they are multidimensional extraterrestrial geeks, give yourself some love and slow it down. You WILL post today!!!
Posting is the next step after choosing a beginner template on Blogger and Xanga. Worry about skins and headers down the road, if you're so inclined to torture yourself. Now you must begin. It's going to be UPHILL for awhile as you learn. Zero whining allowed!
Write about anything. Rant about your neighbors. Write about yourself or your life. Whateva...just get it out on the computer. Always sign in with a name that isn't yours. Give yourself a fantasy name/ username. If you wanna add those cutesy little smileys on Xanga above the posting box, add them. Are you ready to add colors already? You can if you feel very daring. It's all right there above the blank posting box for you to play around with. Blogger doesn't have any of these options, but both of them offer you the option to upload photos. Don't know where that is either? Sheesh. It's the little blue box on the end of the blank posting box for Blogger, and on the top of Xanga, they actually spell it out for you: Upload photos. First, you have to have some photos in your computer. Did you scan some in or download some from your digital camera or phone? That would help.
I would suggest that you proofread before submitting or posting for spelling, grammar and punctuation, and yet don't be too hard on yourself and fret over this. Trust me. If you read other blogs, you will spot plenty of mistakes, but that didn't stop them. It won't stop you, either!
Now get to it! Write. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first step...didn't someone famous write that once upon a time? I must be channeling him in my dominatrix gear.
Class dismissed. ********************************************************** Zombie Award Of The Week:
Here is one of my recent emails to a company you would think would take the time to reply as I've been accepted as an affiliate by them. Now it's seven days and counting, but no reply. Do they discount anyone who asks for their help? Will anyone be home? If I don't get a reply, I will post their name. I'll let you know so you can avoid this zombie.
Your html code is corrupted in some fashion...I don't know what it is, but it won't work! After I put it into my template and publish again, what comes up is the HTML CODE!!! Can you re-check it, and discover what is wrong? Perhaps Blogger, the company I use for my blog, doesn't support Frames...I see that the code begins with IFRAME.
As I have submerged myself into the Blog-o-verse, I have had many insights and discovered many things I didn't know about myself which I wish to share:
1. I have a confession: I'm a technophobe! I have always been ashamed about this. However, after learning (a bit more) about computers through My Horrendous Blogging Initiation and sharing my horror stories with others, I discovered there are LOTS of us technophobes out there! And some are quite brilliant people! If I can learn the basics of blogging, so can you... if you want to read this blog by the technophobe dummie of all time! I'm on my way to becoming a baby geek, and this is an huge achievement for me.
2. I can communicate how to do BASIC things on (or is it with?) computers because I have a simple way of explaining things to others. Learning blog basics and etiquette along with computer html skills has been a steep learning cuve for me. Of course, I have been self- taught which is the maddening way to go....like trying to climb a muddy hill in flip flops. Therefore, I can teach others how to create a basic blog. I will leave it to the experts to teach the advanced courses. Blogging For Dummies as taught by me, a flaxen haired blog blond is do-able! I have emapthy for others who have technophobia and who freeze up and/or get angry and/or who go hysterical and who react with other negative reactions stemming from blog frustration. Have I ever been there!
3. When I'm not throwing things out the window in a hissy fit because of blog frustration, I laugh a lot. Laughter is healing. It helps to release the tension when your blog or computer isn't working right. I will offer suggestions on how to cope when this blog world drives you to the brink. I have a couple of remedies that have worked for me.
4. In the blogging world I have discovered (through the school of harsh experience) that the HELP button on many blog sites is a joke. I'm serious...there's NO ONE HOME! If you even get an answer from a robot, count yourself lucky. Of course, nine times out of ten, the computerized automated reply doesn't begin to answer your question. Give it up that one of these automated zombies is going to take pity on you and actually respond. Of course, there IS an exception to this. For instance, you can actually chat with someone from Blog Explosion online as I've done on several ocassions. This helped me recover from my fifty millionth nervous breakdown.
5. Tips and helpful blog links and connections will be offered here on blog-blond, so check back frequently to see what's new! Most likely I will also vent, spew, stomp and storm and name names of the blog androids I have discovered and continue to discover which annoy me to no end. Venting is very cathartic for me.