Friday, March 30, 2007

Galactic Blogger Origins

Class, I'm often asked by my love slaves from whence I hail in the galaxy because of my oddball, goofy nature mixed with my insightful wisdom and packaged in a delectable body . So I thought I would share a bit of personal information here with you in reference to my galactic origins. But before getting into this juicy stuff, I am listing the types of bloggers and their galactic origins. You can easily identify them by the way they blog.

Serious Bloggers (tech bloggers, political bloggers, nerd/geek bloggers) mostly hail from Sirius. I'm serious! Some are from Saturn--the really depressing, dour bloggers.

Whiny Bloggers (despairing, sad bloggers, longing/aching bloggers and those with the pale pink blog sites where you can barely read the print and the color makes you want to puke!) come from the Far Side of the Moon. They are infant souls who were recently planted on Earth and are beginning to understand their long-prison sentence....err, life learning curve.

Bully Bloggers (macho bloggers, foul language bloggers, ranting bloggers, bragging bloggers, mean-spirited, critical bloggers) are the ones that were kicked off Mars long ago and exiled to Earth. They are slow learners! Sad to say. Their blogs easily identify their origins. The well-mannered Martians remain living underground on Mars and don't even want to know their blood-relatives! Long time no-see, and that's the way they prefer it.

Inspirational Bloggers (spiritual-subject bloggers, photobloggers, art bloggers, music bloggers, etc.) mostly come from Neptune with a smattering of them coming from the Blue Star.

Elite Bloggers
(the good- ol boys -club bloggers, the misogynist bloggers, the egotistic all- about- me bloggers, some (but not all) of the Big Boy Bloggers) incarnate from Nibiru (if you want to be picky, some call it Hibiru), and specifically the Enlil branch.

Humor Bloggers
(such as your Blondalicious Teacher, for one!) are a mixed-breed, and we come from all over the galaxy. Many of our parents were from different star systems who rebelled against their own parents wishes and intermarried, and thus we are strange hybrids who are very difficult bloggers to pin down to a specific group. We are the outsiders, and we prefer to remain this way --the better to thumb our noses and jest. However, under close inspection, you can see the overlay hovering in the aura of our blogs.

Crappy Bloggers (the blogs which are impossible to navigate, with jarring music, too much going on with their blogs, and they feel like seriously bad acid trips) are also infant souls who have yet to get their bearings and achieve organization and balance. Many of these bloggers congregate in MySpace. Most of them hail from Mercury with some Martians.

Beautiful Bloggers
(the blogs which take your breath away with their design, images, words, insights, wisdom and generosity to link to others) naturally come from Venus.

Hungry Bloggers
(those who post about food, recipes, restaurants, and such) come from the Earth. Yes, there are Earthlings who love their home planet and love to write about it's abundance and harvests.

Mommy Bloggers (those who blog about their families, children, pets and personal home life) are also a mixed bag. They come from all over, but are currently doing the 'mommy' gig and need the blogging outlet. This group is NOT to be messed with for they are a powerful force in the blogosphere. Oh yeh!

So if you've read this far and haven't skipped down to read the Juicy Part about my galactic origins, you're obviously a Pretty Da**** Smart Blogger! (Kiss-Kiss), and here is my brief lineage to make a very long story short and to eliminate all the dramatic twists and turns and 180's across time and space:

Lyran, Pleiadean, Arcturian, Venusian, Blue Star, and The Secret Super Nova which no one can talk about or else as it's totally off limits. So there you have it, Mr. "". Can you recognize yourself?

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Posted by kuanyin333 at 1:00 PM


  • Blogger Unknown posted at Friday, March 30, 2007  
    Humor - à la Douglas Adams
    Scope - (Isaac) Asimovian
    Vision - on the wings of Arthur C. Clarke
    Outcome - Fantabulous !!!

  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Friday, March 30, 2007  
    You never fail to make me laugh. When is Hollywood going to come calling for you?
  • Blogger Wayne Smallman posted at Saturday, March 31, 2007  
    I seem to fall into several of those classifications.

    So clearly my cosmic aura / life force gets about a bit.

    Which wouldn't be of any surprise to any of my ex-girlfriends.

    I am a typical Aquarian, after all.

    Or at least that's what I keep getting told, anyway...
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Saturday, March 31, 2007  
    Oh my!!! What am I??? I'm not sure... I often see myself a a boring blogger.... a whinning blogger (while into a deep Borderline crisis), and a geeky blogger... because I like to fight with the codes and get lost from my purposes...
    Hummm... Really... that was a real candy to read... ;-)
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