Class: I'm sure you've wondered about the absence of your blondalicious teacher, right? And here's your answer: I've been busy with house guests. Definition of house guests: those who don't understand about a blogging addiction and who want to talk, eat, travel, and otherwise occupy your time.
As a matter of fact, it's not only house guests who don't understand blogging. Many people don't know the word 'blog', could care less about blogs, bloggers, and blogging, and feel that blogging is a silly waste of time. I'm shocked at the statistics which state that 8 out of 10 Americans never even read a blog! Imagine! Blogging is like breathing to me, so when I am forced to give up my blogging jones, I suffer because I love to breathe!
Today I told myself no matter what, I'm going to catch up on my blogs! As I was debating where to blog to avoid my company and the noise, I once again considered blogging in bed. My comfortable bed is where I used to blog for a period of time, and I am rather fond of blogging in bed. My posts come across as more 'intimate' when I blog from a position of comfort.
As I was mulling blogging places, blogging styles, blogging clothes, blogging situations, absurdities, etc. I decided to poll my beloved students:
Where is your favorite place to blog?
a. work b. computer desk (vertical) c. bed (horizontal) d. hanging upside down in a funny bunny rabbit outfit (with cut-outs) e. none of the above f. alternating the above
When do you prefer to blog?
a. mornings b. afternoons c. evenings d. anytime you can grab a computer e. after midnight f. whenever the muse strikes
What do you wear when you blog?
a. sexy lingerie b. ratty, well-worn sweats c. office clothes--professional attire d. bunny rabbit costume with cut-outs e. birthday suit
How do you blog when house guests want your attention?
a. sneak your computer into the bathroom b. lock yourself in your bedroom c. turn your headphones on and ignore others d. assume an assertive stance by muzzling your guests with duct tape e. after everyone's asleep, you blog f. pretend to talk on the phone while your fingers type
How do you deal with those who don't understand your passion for blogging?
a. be long-suffering, kind, and sneaky b. ignore any and all demands and keep on blogging c. pretend to have a hearing problem d. hand them the "Blogging Bible" and thump it a lot e. surrender to not-blogging f. wear your cut-out bunny rabbit suit everywhere you go g. none of the above h. all of the above at different times
Class, I await your response through comments, and any ideas you can offer me and the rest of your illustrious classmates.
Class: your teacher is very busy, but I haven't forgotten you and have some homework and information for you to study. If you have any questions about anything written on these two blogs, ask them--don't ask me! As I said, I'm busy!
Here are the two resources chock full of important information for up-and-coming blog stars such as you, my amazing students:
Class, I received an email which intrigued me, and I'd like to share it with you! This email is from Joel Comm of InfoMedia in Colorado. Joel is promoting the FIRST WEB REALITY SHOW "where real people will compete for a cash prize and an opportunity to do a joint venture with Joel Comm."
Video auditions are now open for this show, and the show will air in the fall. Twelve men and women will receive an "all-expense paid trip to Colorado for a 2-week intensive competition and learning experience," and then there will be selected one winner.
My mind sizzles with ideas for future reality shows on the web....there could be one seeing how many links newbie bloggers could create in one week, or how to game Technorati like the Big Boyz, or how to build the Best D***** Blog in one week...or Big Brother Web Style...or Blog Bachelor and Bachelorette Dating Shows...and so on and so forth. We could each invent our OWN Web Reality Shows using our creative gifts. It boggles my mind to think of what bloggers will be doing next!
I'm dreaming of creating a reality show where I audition blog love slaves where they are required to do all my blog chores for me, and each week I vote off one until the final love slave is picked!
Keep your blondalicious teacher posted of your wild and wacky creations! Who knows--I may want to jump into your game!
Class: today I'm participating in the First Ever BlogCatalog Community Mass Buzz. I'm not sure what this is--a cross between a blog experiment, rave or a blog love-in-- but spearheaded by the innovative blogger monawea of iwebis, many hundreds of bloggers will be blogging about Blog Catalog today, May 14th!
Why am I participating?Because I like Blog Catalog which is using the successful social networking model that made MyBlogLog such a hit! MyBlogLog is the largest social networking site of it's kind targeting the blogosphere, and it has brought me many readers as well as introduced me to lots of great blogs and bloggers, so when I saw that Blog Catalog was doing something similar, I jumped into the Blog Catalog social networking mix several weeks ago!
Unfortunately (or possibly VERY fortunately), I wasn't able to line up all my blogs and have them in one place with Blog Catalog, so I emailed BlogCatalog and told them my situation and asked for their help.I still haven't heard back from them. This is why you're not seeing cross-eyed when you see me twice: once as Kuanyin and also as Kuanyin333-- oftentimes in the same section. If this double Kuanyin confuses other bloggers, it mystifies me! Does anyone running one of these organizations ever respond to their email? If you wish to find me as Kuanyin on Blog Catalog, here's my web address. And if you wish to find me as Kuanyin333 on Blog Catalog, here's my second address.
Which reminds me: what is going on with Blog Explosion? I heard there was a new owner, but whomever is running BE these days is not taking care of business. I have a receipt for $10 from Paypal. I like to circulate my blogs on Blog Explosion, and the $10 is used for credits to circulate my blogs. The money has been taken out of my bank account for over a week, and yet I haven't seen any credits! I have left two messages for BE, received two tickets, and STILL NO credits or response to the tickets they issued me! If I don't hear something by the end of the week, I'm going to notify Paypal. What else can a badass blondalicious teacher do?!
Oh, back to the purpose of this post: I'm supposed to write something fabulous about Blog Catalog! I like their set-up, but I don't like they haven't responded to my situation with two of me--two Kuanyin's-- running around on Blog Catalog. Is anyone home at these huge blog empires, or are they all run by borgs these days?
So if you meet my twin selves coming and going on BlogCatalog, perhaps you might wish to consider a mass email experimentation on my behalf and ask BlogCatalog to kindly straighten this matter out for me?
Or maybe Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com" will be the knight in shining armor and come to my aid? After all, I did make a comment about your wife doing a guest post as you requested!
The Never Ending Story--Blog Style--and One More Tag!
Class, once again I am playing along, and today I am playing TWO games in one blog. How fun is this! The amazing Kilroy of Fear and Loathing--The Gonzo Papers invited me to complete the following sentence and then pass it on to someone else via email. So I pick Tisha of Serenity Quest because she is the Comment Queen Extraordinaire, and I know she'll catch the ball just as Kilroy knew I would! :-)Here's what Kilroy sent sent me:
"The telephone rang. I counted, one...two...three..."
And here's my contribution: ...and let it ring til the answering machine picked up. Would that hot-to-trot sex-crazed druggie ever stop calling?
TAKE IT AWAY Tisha and email the Never Ending Story onto someone who will keep the ball rolling and the story unfolding....
This must be the week for fun and games, and you'll never find me complaining about this! Ya know the song, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cindy Lauper? Well, methinks boys do too! Here's the lyrics again to remind you:
"I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones And girls they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have fun
The phone rings in the middle of the night My father yells what you gonna do with your life Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one But girls they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have--
That's all they really want Some fun When the working day is done Girls-- they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have fun
Some boys take a beautiful girl And hide her away from the rest of the world I want to be the one to walk in the sun Oh girls they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want Some fun When the working day is done Girls--they want to have fun Oh girls just want to have fun, They want to have fun, They want to have fun..."
Now for my SECOND Tag sent to me by the outstanding portrait artist, Laketrees, who invited me to answer some questions, and I'm doing so and then tagging others. The questions are:
1. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?
My answer: Many things, and in no specific order:
Open up new doorways from my creative blogging efforts
Express myself in a fun, provocative manner
Spoof and spank
Go global and discover/network/play with my crazy kin
2. Are you a spiritual person?
My answer: Absolutely.
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?
My answer: a genie in a bottle granting my every wish with zero repercussions, to stay stranded so as to enjoy all my wishes, and my memory erased of what it was like before not having a genie and all my wishes granted.
4. What's your favorite childhood memory?
My answer: My dog Jimmy, a Springer Spaniel. He was my confidante, my best friend, and one really smart, loving, cool being in a dog body.
5. Is this your first meme?
My answer: No, I've been meme-ed up many times. Although I think the word sounds rather self-serving. The 'Me Me' should be changed to 'We-We'? Don't you think so, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?
I'm now tagging the following folks, and if they want MORE questions than the ones I asked, just go to Laketree's Blog where there are plenty of questions:
Class: one of the best ways to get some attention for your blog, possible subscriptions and a readership following is to participate in carnivals and memes. My thought is this: Keep Showing Up! Eventually your pesky presence will either win some begrudging respect fromother bloggers OR maybe one day cupid will shoot a bow into their hard, black, not- inclined- to -link-love heart while they're reading your post, and they'll finally fall in love with your blog! Miracles happen!
The Gonzo Blog Carnival Series is an opportunity to shine the light of your fabulous posts for others to see.
Today I'm following my own advice, and I'm playing along with the dude who writes Fear and Loathing--The Gonzo Papers, Kilroy, because he tagged me for "Kilroy's Education Meme." He's also promoting an Education Carnival you might want to participate in as well.
-----------(-)>What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
My answer: Mrs. Sullivan in the 1st grade because I was the teacher's pet. I liked being petted. This was the last time I was a teacher's pet until college....such an tragically long wait!
-----------(-)>What subject did you favor in high school?
My answer: Art! I won a scholarship to the Parson's School of Design in New York City, but my parents refused to let me go to N.Y. because they believed I would get into mischief in the Big City. Later on in my life I moved to New York City and made sure I got into lots of mischief. Moral of the story: don't deny your children their passion because it will come back and bite ya! My Mother and Father learned that lesson well.
-----------(-)>Did you attend a university and if so did you attain a degree?
My answer: I graduated a semester early with a degree in Journalism.
-----------(-)>Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands-on?
My answer: Hands-on baby!
-----------(-)> Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?
My answer: I'm absolutely addicted to learning lots of new stuff every day-- a total nerd/ scholar, even though others might not know this about me judging by my blondalicious/babe appearance. I'm fascinated with EVERYTHING! Every day is another exciting opportunity to study more, know more, feel more, and share more. Bring it on!
-----------(-)>What seven people are you tagging to do this?
Class, remember my last post about my suspicions about two of my blogs being banned by IE? Well, thanks to the thoughtful reader/angel, The Imaginary Diva, who left a comment about her own experience of having a widget act-up on her and closing down IE for her, I was able to troubleshoot and discover the troublesome widget....Google Language Translator of all things! Who would have thunk it?
If it weren't for her experience and sharing her hard-won wisdom with her comment, my two blogs might still be stuck in IE purgatory! So a BIG Shout-Out to The Imaginary Diva for taking the time to share your wisdom!
This helpful quality is what makes for a great blogging community as we're all in the process of learning, and the learning curve comes in strange and mysterious ways.
Late yesterday (as I was celebrating Cinco de Mayo and in no shape to blog, trust me!), I received an email from a blog buddy which began like this:
"You are my last hope contacting ex Blogger now Bloogle-Glogger ! My sidebar disappeared but not like in the past, just hanging down, this time it disappeared from my blog but also "inside" !
When I open Layout "page Elements" the HTLM Java script button is missing. There is only one for "Blog Archives" and one for "About me" and that's it. It suddenly disappeared 3 or 4 days ago and I haven't touched this for quite a while.
Do you know somebody who could help me ? In this Google help group I asked but got no answer. I would like to add some things but can't because this button is not there. It's only in my blog Writer Cramps ! I also tried both browsers, Firefox and IE but for both it's the same."
****** So I emailed her back today with a recommendation. Then it struck me I could pay it forward by posting on my blog about the situation my friend is facing on her blog, Writer's Cramps.
Maybe one of you reader/angels can help her out with a comment as The Imaginary Diva did for me? As well all know, it may be hell freezing over (I know, a tired, worn-out cliche) before she hears back from Blogger. They're probably STILL celebrating Cinco de Mayo!
Class, I keep receiving emails from devoted readers about their dismay at not being able to read this amazing blog (and another one of mine: Way Khool Sites) using the Internet Explorer browser, and email after email, I explain to them that these worthy sites have been blocked by the B**head Blog Buffoons or B.B.B. for short.
Please elaborate, you say?
The B.B.B. have for some ODD reason targeted my HARMLESS blogs and are censoring them! That's all I can come up with. In any event, the censorship can only go so far because you're going to be a smart consumer and stop using their stupid browser, right? If you're using Internet Explorer, switch right now to the FREEMozilla Firefox browser, a way better browser with all sorts of khool add-ons like Stumble and Page Rank, just to name a few. I love Mozilla Firefox, and I don't have a clue as to why some people still use IE!
Check out my Way Khool Sites blog, and let me know if you think this blog is deemed to be a naughty blog. I can understand why some of the B.B.B. might jump to conclusions about Blog-Blond, but hey, obviously they can't read! This point is very obvious!
Onto more pleasant matters:
Have you noticed some of the widgets on my sidebar? I am recommending them to you today, just in case you've been oblivious to them. I recommend them to you, my darling students, because I feel they are worthy traffic builders.
Also check out Criteoand whatever else I've got on my sidebar. I'm so loaded down on my left sidebar the advertisers better hurry up their a$$$$ and get their ads downloaded on my right side because I'm getting horribly lopsided! Are you listening advertisers? Don't you feel any pity about my imbalance? I wonder if guilt-trips will work on advertisers???
One mo' thing before I dismiss you today:
If you've been yearning to get in on the video blogging or vlogging world but didn't want to undergo the learning curve, there's a hot new video camcorder called the Flip Video which practically does everything for you...almost like one of those borgs I mentioned yesterday. Amazon.com offers one for sale for only $104.84! Here's the link to this video that magically allows you to upload to YouTube.
Why do I mention this? Upload your video to Youtube. No money for you for your videos, yet...maybe down the road! BUT you can get a link back to your blog and drive your 75,000 page views back to your blog! How is that idea for getting readers? Yes, you'll thank me someday when you're rich and famous, won't you, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?
Class, this post title is conceivably a possibility in the future! The job description would read like this: "Comment on blogs for $15 an hour. Keep the comments simple, polite, and to the point." Has your Blondalicious Teacher lost her marbles?
I'm glad you're concerned, but not to worry. I've simply had an amazing vision of the future. Yesterday I happened to look down to the sidebar of Blog-Blond, and my eye saw a catchy post title on "The Good Blogs" list of titles. I clicked on it, and I found myself on the blog of Kent Newsome reading his post titled, "Narcissism, Honesty and the Technorati Top 100".
While reading his post about why Guy Kawasaki doesn't have time to read other blogs other than his own, this part of Newsome's post jumped out at me like a fierce tiger: "He has a "virtual assistant" (whatever that is) who will sometimes thank those who write about him."
That's when the lights went off for me! And I saw the future for employment possibilities. Take in account how much time you spend commenting on other's blogs! Is it an hour a day or two or maybe more? Commenting is time-consuming. I personally like commenting because I enjoy reading blogs, but obviously a lot of people don't have the time to comment! I view my Stat Counter and Sitemeter records and see how many people read my blogs, and out of the vast numbers who drop by, the commenters are rare birds!
Thus, a lot of people might like to employ an excellent, skilled commenter to keep their blog-ball rolling along, dontcha think?
Why should Guy be the only blogger to have a virtual assistant?! Whoops! I started thinking even more which is sometimes a dangerous thing for me--maybe he's not the ONLY blogger to have one. Maybe some of the comments which have been made on my blogs weren't even written by humans--maybe these comments were done by borg "virtual" assistants. How MANY bloggers are already using these hired borgs? The more I thought about this, the more I realized that borgs shouldn't be making all the money! What about humans? They have some rights! Or at least they should have!
There are probably lots of humans who'd like to make $15 an hour leaving comments on blogs and signing their name as Guy Kawasaki! Think about it: the job's a pretty easy one. You're sitting, not standing! You're sitting on your a$$ typing comments. How hard could this be? If I put an ad in the paper for this job, lots of folks would be lined up to audition.
Why did I pick the hourly salary of $15? Here's the way I look at it--even though the gig's an easy one with very little mental, emotional, or physical stress, you want someone who can type without making mistakes. After all, you wouldn't want other bloggers thinking you're a total dolt who can't even spell. Thus, you would need to hire someone with skills. And if you hired someone with good skills , you can't pay slave wages.
Slave wages are what most of us bloggers earn, except for the very few who game the system and happen to have lots of contacts. It's embarrassing enough to be earning nothing/zilch/zero/nada from your blog. The very least we could do is to pay our hired commenters a decent wage.
Class, I have YET another homework assignment for you! I want you to plug in your blog(s) address to the following three websites and see if they match up for you. The stats certainly don't match up for me at all!
Are the so-called crawling 'spiders' who fetch the information hooked on different drugs?Is something rigged with the stats?Which site is right, and which site is wrong? Why don't the stats match? If you have a SIMPLE explanation for your blondalicious teacher, I want to know through your comments.
Here are the three websites to check your blog stats: