Class, it's that time of year to look back and review what we did right and what we did wrong! I was finished with this yearly folly after writing yesterday's post were it not for my Australian buddy Sueblimely of the blog Blogging Sublimely who tagged me for a meme!
This Favorite Five Meme asked me to:
1. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like.
2. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
Thus, I was FORCED by FRIENDSHIP to review the Blog-Blond posts once again!
What is it about reading your old posts that makes one want to gag? Or is that gagging thing 'just me'?
But I played-along, and here are my results:
1. First, the post which references family. Of course, I had to choose a post which references our galactic family. You know me. I'm weird. This post is titled Galactic Blogger Origins.
2. Second, the post which references friend. And since I've got lots of friends since I'm so hugely popular, I'll use this post of mine titled "Blog Against Abuse Day--Humor Bloggers" wherein I come to the defense of my humor blogger friends.
3. Third, the post which is about yourself. Since everything is always about me-me-me, all my posts are REALLY about myself in one way or another, but for the sake of being a little less obviously narcissistic, I'll choose this one titled "Blogging In Bed and Preferences Poll".
4. Fourth, a post about your love. This is probably the hardest one of all to choose because I love everyone and everything (yes, I'm a secret saint, but shssss...don't tell anyone, ok? The earth drama of good and bad has to continue for just a little while longer, so we have to pretend to dislike, be bad, and hate, etc., but we really know it's just an illusion (The Matrix), right?) Thus, I will choose my Valentine's post titled "Happy Valentine's Day". Be sure to click the link.
Whew! I'm glad that part is over, and now I will INVITE ANY FIVE others who may or may not play along with me. Memes aren't all that appropriate for some of my blog friends, but what the h**, if they don't wanna play, I'm fine with this.
So IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO PLAY ALONG?Please come and play! There...I invited you! I don't suppose Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com" wants to play in that he's too busy managing his humor blog empire.
Class, after I finished reading the masterful post by Brian Clark ofCopyblogger with the summation of his blog over the past year titled "The Best of Copyblogger in 2007", I asked myself some HARD questions.
What has Blog-Blond blog achieved? How has Blog-Blond evolved? Am I becoming a better blogger or just a kinkier, lazier one? Where have I been with my blog, and more importantly--where am I going?
I decided to whittle down the results in a series of pictures for the Main Stages of Blog-Blond. You will easily see how Blog-Blond has evolved-- since pictures speak louder than words.
The first picture is a drawing by your very own blondalicious teacher as she was learning the art of blogging. She was obsessed, consumed, and more than a little bit crazy as her pea brain was challenged by all the new blog lingo and technology. The blogosphere was daunting to your teacher in the First Stage!
The second photo depicts the stage of Blog-Blond's evolvement when she became the tough-as-nails taskmaster.... with perhaps more of an s & m edge if the truth were to be told. Photo credit: Mel Lindstrom
The third drawing represents the darker, sexier stage of B-B because of the many trials and tribulations!! Blogging is lots of hard work! And finally, where do I project Blog-Blond going in 2008? Since I've been fielding reality show offers, book deals, and a sh**** movie here and there, I figure I might as well be the first women blogger to go on the cover of Maxim magazine. Why not?! It'll be ground breaking! I rather like this style on the cover of Maxim, but of course, I'd have to add my thigh-high black silk stiletto boots!
Class: I've been zooming around like Santa Claus today leaving comments on blogs, both the naughty 'n nice blogs as I believe in equality. Since I don't quite have the Claus Knack of showing up everywhere, this matter of leaving comments on blogs has been time-consuming....and I'm not even close to being finished! Whew! I know I'm a hardcore blogger, but seriously, this comment work is going to require more Cristal and Red Bull to make it through this long Christmas Eve night!
There's so many weird stories I read today like this one: The NCAA has set a limit on how often bloggers can update their blogs while attending championship college events. Say what?!
Or this story: "Googling For your Grade" taught by teacher James Wilkinson. His students compete to see who can become more famous by blogging and social networking. Click here for a link to the blog.
And is it really true? Did Digg die? Or did it get sold into white slavery? My my! The blogosphere never ceases to amaze your blondalicious teacher. Just when I think everything can't get any sleazier, it somehow manages to do just that!
Oh, I promised my bud at Bloggeries I'd mention his very cool blog forum next time I blogged, so there--I did it! Seriously, it's a fun place to hang out and get acquainted with other bloggers.
I must return to my Christmas Eve round of appearing on your blogs with my salacious, witty, or confusing comments, and thus I will sign off with a Merry Christmas and Happy Effing Holy Daze! You know I love ya'll! Mahalo for your support...your visits here...and your pithy comments.
Here's just a few of the blogs I'll be visiting (some of which are no more!):
My dearest (remaining) class members, I have three valuable insights to impart to you in these remaining days of 2007, and I'm titling this post: The Three Biggest Blog Lessons I Learned In 2007. Listen UP!
1. The Only Sure Thing Is Change
Blogs come and go. Some of my favorite bloggers moved on this year to paying gigs. This made me a trifle sad because I really enjoyed their blogs, and yet I've learned there is a time for blogging, and a time for earning!
Page Ranks come and go. Readership comes and goes. Popularity comes and goes. You can bet your sweet a$$ that at some point you too will COME and go! C'est la vie!
So my hard-earned lesson which I learned when pneumonia sidelined me this year and my Alexa ranking went down, down, down, and my readership dropped, and comments became few and far between is this: don't get too hung-up on your blogs. After all, they are merely BLOGS! Of much more importance is your health, your relationships, and your peace of mind.
2. Blog Buddies Are Priceless
During my Blog Down Days (B.D.D.), receiving an email from one of them checking-up on me was absolutely priceless and made my day! People prove who they really are when you're down and out. These special people are the icing on the cake! So take the time to GROW some real blog buddies. They will prove to be the REAL reason you are blogging....and not because you have a fantasy of earning substantial income from your blogs. 2007 was the year many bloggers likely learned this lesson too!
3. Practice Makes Perfect
If you keep posting, you will notice that your fingers hit the right keys on your keyboard with more accuracy, right? You will notice that you find your blog voice, right? You will notice that some days you're on and some days you're off, right? Some days your muse is with you, and at other times, she has run off to Brazil with the pool boy, right?
KEEP PRACTICING!Eventually, you will find your stride, your rhythm, and your way through the B.D.D. Blogging is more than anything a practice....an offering to the Crazy Blog Gods which demonstrate your willingness to share yourself with the world. You WILL perfect your blog game if you're disciplined and diligent.
You remember last year when we cuddled up in bed on this blog, and I shared some of your gnarliest secrets with my readers and we had a jolly good laugh? And you told me at that time that I could have ANYTHING I wanted...remember? Well, here is my Christmas wish list, and I expect you to deliver on time.
Since the story goes that you see everything and know everything, I guess you already know that I've been BOTH naughty 'n nice. But here's the way I look at it: this concept of n & n is a relative one. Sometimes being naughty is REALLY nice if you know what I mean jellybean.
Blog-Blond's Christmas Wish List:
1. A Facebook Rule Book
For example, if someone pokes me, am I expected to Super Poke them back? Or am I merely supposed to be a tease and throw some weird thing at them? A rule book would be so helpful.
While you're at it, would you have your elves clean up myFacebook and make all those annoying invitations and people I don't even know who want to be my friend disappear? Maybe I'd start liking Facebook again if I wasn't so besieged!
2. Handcuffs For My Muse
Last year my muse ran off with the pool boy to do aya in Brazil, and I was p.o'd! How could I write these posts without my Muse? I finally tracked her down, and she was like totally out of it and hanging out with a 4-th dimensional green lizard which I had to slay to get her back, and now that I've got her back, I want to make sure she stays with me so I can write funny again.
Thus, a pair of cute, 24- carat -gold chain handcuffs to keep her with me is an absolutenecessity. That seductive green lizard is so beguiling and strong I don't wanna have to battle with it again! My Jimmy Choo black silk thigh-high boots aren't looking so good after all that lizard s***-kicking! Throw some of those in under the tree too!
3. Mega Energy
Santa dahling....as you well know, those who are jealous of the success of Blog-Blond managed to put a major crimp in my posting the second part of this year!
First, the jealous ones lured my Museaway through the artifice of a hunky pool boy who read my Muse Oscar Wilde fairy tales by candlelight, and then they whammied me by stealing my energy and putting me in the godawful hospital!I know they'll gettheir comeuppance because what goes around is a sure thing--a Law of the Universe.
But in the meantime, I want Mega Energy so that I can post on ALL my blogs at least threetimes a weekAND have enough energy left over to playextra naughty. After all, I've got to catch up for lost time and FUN!
4. A Blog-Blond Reality Show
Yes, you read that right! Since all those television writer's are still striking and Hollywood won't be producing any segments of all the popular sitcom's for who knows how long and since the Hollywood producers/sharks are desperately searching for product to put on the air with tawdry reality shows, I think Blog-Blond should become the hot new Reality Show.
I won't give away the details in this post, but I have great ideas, and so if you're reading this and you're one of those desperate Hollywood producers/sharks, call me and we'll have lunch. If you throw enough moolah my way, I'll give you the pitch.