Class, I received a comment today from one of the gang, Mr. Humor-Blog himself! And he inspired me with his Totally Inappropriate Card Day. Thus, I have a confession to make to ya'll: with my recent massive blog surfing/sniffing/surveying/snooping combined with the recent partying at the Oscars (and especially the after parties!), your unique and very special blogs have become one big blur to me. I can't recall who is who anymore unless you tap HARD on my blog with comments. So Identify Yourself by comments. I don't even care if they're inappropriate. In fact, the more inappropriate-- the more I'll laugh, and that's a way to win brownie points with your blondalicious teacher. HINT!
Did you listen to me and blog about the Oscars? That was your homework...remember?! You probably were very naughty while I was busy and forgot all about the Oscars or went to sleep like so many did during the Oscars and then woke up with total amnesia.
I checked out the blogs on Outpost Earth, and I was shocked at how many dinky bloggers let this Oscar opportunity pass them by. What a waste! My blogging tip of the day for you, my beloved students, is to get into the game. Blog about current events! Leave comments on other blogs about their post of current events and mix it up a bit. Don't be shy. Let your blood-curdling, scary, freaky voices be heard! What's the worst thing that can happen to you? As long as you don't slander someone or use profanity, your blog is your chance to write your truth.
So with that truly inspirational speech, I have this to say to you today: Have you heard of the Tyra Bank's "So What!" campaign? You haven't?! Seriously? Which rock did you say you live under? Well, here's the scoop:
Tyra really let it all out on her last show with everyone in her audience including her (gorgeous 161 pound self) wearing their 'weight' numbers on their tight red swimwear. And then they all did a gut-releasing Shout-Out about their numbers! This was a cathartic moment, not only for them but for all the millions of viewers who have carried around shame about their weight issues. The show blew me away, and I am totally enlisted in the Tyra Banks fan club. She's a woman who is shaking up all the old paradigm 'programming' show by show. Go Tyra!
Today I want to do my own So-What! So What if my students don't listen to their wise, gorgeous, sexy, funny teacher! So What if you don't post comments! So What if you don't like what I write! So What if I don't like what you write!
Isn't it about time we let up on ourselves? We can't always be appropriate. Sometimes we can be deliciously naughty and inappropriate.
So I'm here in Hollyweird and hanging out with Ellen and her posse brainstorming some last minute quips for her opening monologue at the 79th Oscars TODAY! While putzing around with some photos of her and Oscar, I came up with this delightful collage. Hint: it has something to do with something. Did ya get that? If not, you will. Here's another hint for you lamebrains: Ellen likes to dance right? Who else likes to dance?
We've been trying to figure out which suit she should wear. Black---or white? Or black AND white? Decisions, decisions! It's a tough call, and maybe she'll end up wearing all three.
We've been placing our bets on the winners. Of course, I always go for the underdog (because I'm a softie in some ways, but don't get any ideas!). So everyone thinks Little Miss Sunshine or Babel will win, right? What is the least likely one to win? Why that would be Letters From Iwo Jima! So I'm going against the grain, against trends, and I've got my monies riding on the dark horses. It's a better payout should my nominees actually win!
No one but Oprah and me think Willie (Will Smith) will win the best actor for The Pursuit of Happyness. Everyone else is voting for Forest Whitaker of The Last King of Scotland. Agreed, he is not so much a dark horse as Peter O'Toole, but I break my OWN rules all the time, don't you?
Rules are made to be broken so I say--and if you let me, I'll break yours too.
My library is overflowing with metaphysical books…all of which I’ve read.
I love generous people, and I’m also generous.
Until you spend many years with me, you can’t fathom who I am.
I am single.
My sheets are professionally pressed.
Gifts of healing flow through my hands.
Falling down as a young child and enduring a bad head wound, I became very psychic.
I was adopted as a baby, but my adopted parents kept this a secret from me. I discovered this fact on my own through my psychic gifts which was later confirmed.
Every week I find something to give to someone.
I can smell an agenda or falsity a mile away for I have x-ray vision and sensing.
If someone lies to me, I don’t always call them on their lie. Karma’s a bitch. It catches up with one.
My psychic abilities have been tested by professionals, but I don’t give psychic readings.
Animals gravitate to me as I love them.
I have re-invented myself many times during this lifetime.
This is because I’ve had several near-death experiences which changed me.
My inner child is alive and well and playful.
Though I don’t consume milk products, I make the exception for ice cream cones.
Photography is one of my passions.
Pomposity as displayed by others makes me laugh.
I know enough to ask for help when I need to.
Dancing is much more fun at home with the music turned up.
I am knowledgeable about astrology, numerology, palmistry, dowsing and feng-shui.
If I didn’t live on Maui, I’d live in Ibiza.
I am very good at dealing with invasions of personal space.
I am often called a Muse.
Making people laugh brings me joy.
If I could, I would travel constantly.
I love to capture the essence of a person in portrait photography.
My birth mother was half Cherokee.
Barefoot is how you normally will see me.
If I ever marry again, I will be surprised.
I think our celebrity-obsessed culture is both hilarious and ridiculous. I like to make fun of it.
Mothers that put their children in beauty contests with heavy make-up on freak me out.
Japanese food is my soul-food, and if I start feeling ill, I eat Japanese food, and I immediately feel better.
Great artists, inventors, and humanitarians are whom I admire.
I would like to keep a flat in Paris to visit from time to time.
My best friend is my daughter.
I look a lot younger than my biological age.
De-toxing is something I do daily because of environmental pollution.
My skin has a slight tan. I don’t care for dark tans as they look fake and unhealthy.
Great beauty makes my heart beat faster.
I have met and known many kind people.
Angels are with me all the time.
My non-fiction book about dolphins was published in 1993.
Living in the mountains agrees with me.
When I modeled in my early twenties, I was anorexic.
I love the element of water and love to swim.
People give me mermaid and dolphin gifts a lot.
Collages are something I enjoy creating.
Communing with Nature is necessary for my well-being.
Trust is something you have to earn with me.
Friends tell me I’m a wonderful listener and wise counselor.
I’m a light eater.
A major requirement: I need to be surrounded by beauty.
I prefer quality food, and if I drink, I prefer quality alcohol. Actually, I like the BEST in everything.
Horses, elephants, dogs, dolphins, whales and cats are my favorites.
My goal is to get my MANY blogs to support me. If not all, at least one.
I grew up in a small Indian town in Oklahoma.
The Blog-Blond blog was born out of frustration and the learning curve of blogging innards.
I gained 15 pounds sitting all day & learning how to do html and blog, No more weight gain though. I put a stop to that after I went up a size.
All the details which go into making a GREAT blog drives me just a bit crazy.
Kuanyin isn’t my real name. Duh!
However, I have the greatest of respect for the REAL Kuan Yin.
I take photos every day, and I carry two digital cameras with me everywhere I go.
I have zero desire to be a professional photographer. I’m quite happy being an amateur.
Yes, I live on Maui. Tis true.
I’ve experienced many kinds of love in my life and continue to experience love.
Unconditional love is the best.
I’ve been known to be a bit kinky at times.
I’m working on several books, one of which is a dark humor fiction book based on Maui folk I’ve known.
I love to swing in hammocks.
Watching sunrise and sunset makes me have a happy day.
The world needs to have more balance, more fair-play, and more balanced distribution of the wealth.
We can choose the world in which we live: the mundane, the magical or the miraculous. I prefer the later.
When God handed out mechanical abilities, I was the last person in line.
I am punctual for all appointments and pay my bills on time.
I attract people who are eccentric, different, quirky, odd-ball, rebellious and weird.
Perhaps this is because I am very allowing and non-judgmental.
I like to drive fast cars and boats.
I am an Artisan type according to one of those famous tests.
I prefer silk, bamboo, hemp, cotton and linen fabrics.
World music, ambient, devotional, Celtic, and rhythm and blues music are some of my favorites.
I wanted to move far away from my dysfunctional family, so I married young to do so.
I’ve seen and experienced a lot in my life. It feels as if I’ve already lived multiple lives.
You don’t want to get on my bad side.
I distrust organized religions of all kinds, and thus, I do my own thing and go within.
Candles are a necessity in my life.
It would be easy for me to be a recluse.
My inner life is extremely rich.
I have my fair share of secrets. I don’t trust people who say they don’t have secrets.
I rarely worry.
Sometimes I can be compulsive-obsessive and experience burn-out from my work/passions.
I like a lot of variety.
I can often read other’s minds and thoughts.
I’m lucky.
Yoga and stretching feel great, and I love to stretch and move.
Before there was blogging, I wrote journals. I still write personal journals.
Delicious high-quality goat cheese is one of my power foods.
So I'm here in Hollyweird and hanging out with Ellen and her posse brainstorming some last minute quips for her opening monologue at the 79th Oscars TODAY! While putzing around with some photos of her and Oscar, I came up with this delightful collage. Hint: it has something to do with something. Did ya get that? If not, you will. Here's another hint for you lamebrains: Ellen likes to dance right? Who else likes to dance?
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