Friday, August 31, 2007

Blog Day Blogging


Class, as my most brilliant students know, today is Blog Day! And since your blondalicious teacher lives all the way in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and since she's a late riser, my day is just beginning...while for many of you, Blog Day has already come and gone. Nevertheless, I'm participating by celebrating this day even if I'm late to arrive at the party---all the better for dramatic entrances, especially if you were to see me wearing my black silk teddy, eh?

Here's the instructions for Blog Day copied from their website:

"BlogDay posting instructions:

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting
2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending them as part of BlogDay 2007
3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a link to the recommended Blogs
4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st) and
5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link:
http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2007 and a link to the BlogDay web site at http://www.blogday.org

Celebrate!"

*********
So since your Blondalicious Teacher abhors boring blogs and only likes fetching, weird, risky/frisky blogs and bloggers, here goes with my 5 New Blogs I find interesting/freaky/fun/delicious and why:

1. Omyword! Just read her posts, and you'll understand why I feel she's a yummy read! 'Nuf said!

2. Olga The Traveling Bra
Even though this blog hasn't been updated lately, I still get a good laugh looking at the pictures. The adventurous spirit combined with the photos make this blog very funny.

3. Akromatika
Satire with naughty four letter words that your politically correct teacher never uses but still likes to read on other blogs! 'Nuf said twice!

4. Magnificent Bastard
This is the snarky male twin for Go Fug Yourself blog. I laugh my a$$ off every time I read it, and that's why my a$$ is so tiny.

5. I Hate Your Job
This blogger helps us appreciate and celebrate our own no-jobness in the most hilarious prose.

Needless to say, there's lots of other great blogs to be found at "Humor-Blogs.com", so if you want to spend your weekend laughing, then you won't run out of funny blogs to read. Of course, you can also suggest more funny blogs for me to add to my Squidoo lens called Funny Blogs because I'm always on the lookout for something NEW to make me giggle. And if you're still hungry, check out my Tumble blog filled with silly cartoons, photos, and photos.



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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 1:55 PM 10 comments

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Three Things You Can Learn From Puppies


Class, I'm going to ask you to go back in time with me to your childhood. Did any of you ever accompany your parents to pick out a puppy from a litter of puppies? If you missed this opportunity to pick YOUR puppy from a litter, then use your imagination and follow along because there's some valuable BLOGGING insights I wish to share with you.

The First Thing You Can Learn From Puppies:
Two Puppies Are Easier Than One Because They Keep Each Other Company


As you're introduced to the puppies and you're sitting on the floor playing with them trying to decide which one you like the best, at first you think they all look alike, right? But after playing with them awhile, you begin to notice each one has different markings and personalities.

Such differences is the case with the TWO new pixel contests initiated by bloggers Bryan Clark and Ryan Shamus.

Both contests appealed to me. The price tag is small. The pixel page looks almost identical except that Ryan's pixels are bigger and he offers a $5 rebate which makes the pixel prices the same. Both Bryan and Ryan offer prizes for handing over your respective $10 and $15 monies to them! What to do?! Here's my response: take BOTH puppies/contests/pages! Thus, I put my blond mug (as a teeny weeny little pixel) into both pages and contests. If you put up your magnifying glass to your computer screen, you'll be able to find your Blondalicious Teacher on both pages near the top.

I'm still a bit confused which one is Ryan and which one is Bryan, but as the contests age, I'm sure their markings and personalities will become more pronounced. Anyways, now I have (nearly) a matching set of pixel advertisements to go with my metaphor. This way the two will be easier to find in my cluttered closet.

The Second Thing You Can Learn From Puppies:
Take Risks

Now some readers might say you're taking this puppy thing too far, and it's looking a tad ridiculous to compare puppy lessons to blogging tips, and I say to them, "Pshaww!" Taking risks is one of the fun-damentels of dynamic blogging.

Look at John Cow ("The Miscalleaneous Ramblings of Dot Com Moooguls") and how successful this cow has been jumping over the moon with crazy cow s$$$! Has 'The Cow' taken outrageous risks and branded himself to gain readers? Heck, yes! Take risks my beloved students! Puppies do. Cows do. Top bloggers most often do!

You can even cross swords and then make-up and become friends for the whole wide world to witness as recently happened between the Bloke and ProBlogger Darren Rowse. These two played risky and then frisky.

The Third Thing You Can Learn From Puppies:
When The Dinner Bell Rings, Puppies Chow Down


For the first time in human history the ability to write and become published lickety-split and For FREE exists because of companies like Blogger. Thank You Blogger/Google! Possibly the Atlanteans or Lemurians had this opportunity, but if they did, no one remembers because their blogs are deeply buried in mud somewhere. But I digress....

The point your Blondalicious Teacher is trying to make is that you have a Grand Opportunity to express yourself like no other time in gadzillions of years. Your photos, art, thoughts & feelings printed on your posts will possibly/probably be read by your ancestors! Doesn't this give you chicken-skin? It does me! So chow down, create posts, express yourselves, and make history! Us early bloggers are the luckiest of the lucky. Don't you think so, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?






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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 2:16 PM 3 comments

Friday, August 24, 2007

How To Get Famous or Rich Through Blog Homework


Yoohooo Class, it's me your Blondalicious Teacher showing up on a Friday with your homework assignment for the weekend. I like doing this, ya know...there's a bit of perversity in me. No, I didn't say perverted. Perversity and perverted are two very different words. Perversity means "deliberate and stubborn unruliness and resistance to guidance or discipline." That's why I'm the teacher who shows up on Friday with a homework assignment! Got it!

Ok, down to business. Listen Up! The first link has 100+ Sites where you can promote yourself. I get tired just looking at this long list, so I'll let you look at it. I think that's fair. After all, I'm the teacher, and you're the students, right? Oh, how I wish I could find the right person to do all of this promoting for me. My life would be so much easier! Alas, I've not found the perfect love slave for this position yet. If you think you've got what it takes, you can leave your credentials in the comment box.

Your Homework Assignment Should You Care To Work Your Fanny Off: sign up for as many (or all) of these sites as you can and promote your blog! While you're at it, promote me too. Prepare yourself with a huge box of bags of Doritos and a fridge beside your computer filled with Red Bull. Click here for the LONG list.

Your second homework assignment is to check out this organization, Blog Authors. If you make any money, be sure and let me know. I'm still dubious if anyone can make a DECENT living online without working your a$$ off, but one never knows! The Blogosphere is still young, and maybe one of these methods will actually turn out to be easy, fun, and a GREAT money-maker! Until then, I'll keep researching this subject of making money through blogging and stick to my day job which is Goofing-Off, the best job in the world I might add--if you can land it! Job description: amply fill out a black teddy.

What do you think about earning BIG money from blogging, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 3:12 PM 7 comments

Monday, August 20, 2007

Blog News That Makes Me Go Whooooaaaa!


Class, I see a little scheduled outage sign posted by Blogger for 4 PM PDT, so I'm going to make this post another quickie, but you like my quickies, right? Before I begin, I never got around to mahalo'ing Tom for this Schmooze Award, and it's high time! So MEGA MAHALO TOM!

This post will be all about links to posts I find fascinating. Remember my LAST post on Google? I'm shocked to read what these two bloggers experienced with Google!

SEO Book

Master News Media

Whoops! Apparently Google is ALL THAT! Or not, depending upon how you look at it. I'm glad I'm not depending upon advertising revenue is all I can say. Of course, my country funds me for blogging. I think America should do the same.

What do you say to the idea that any qualified blogger receive renumeration JUST for their hard work from the American government? Fund bloggers, alright already! Watch the bloggers move mountains...and in that vein, read this link:

Another: "Blogger proves Nasa wrong on climate change." I love bloggers, and I'm proud to be among the many small, un-sung, un-celebrated, un-heard-of bloggers! And I'm going to gush all about bloggers, blogging, blogs, etc. at a conference in September where I'm a presenter. My topic: "The Art of Blogging".

What do you think of these sentiments, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 12:24 PM 4 comments

Friday, August 17, 2007

Is Google All That? It Seems So!


Class, I've been cogitating about the immensity of Google lately. And when I chanced upon the Mashable blog with with a 60+ giganticarama Google toolbox, I began wondering what Google is NOT doing or going to do or going to offer us.

Heck, if we wait around long enough, maybe Google will make blogging a lot easier than it is...at least for me. You see...when it comes to tech stuff, your blondalicious teacher really has to stretch her brain....like....a LOT! I still don't know for sure how to unzip files. Or maybe the one I was trying to unzip today was merely corrupted.

I'd much prefer Google to do file unzipping for me so I can unzip real zippers. I want Google to prepare my succulent blogs ready to be served and eaten with zest. I want Google to take away all the boring tech stuff and let me just have fun being sassy and deviant. Gimme gimme more ease...please!

And that's my Friday Google Rant! Have a fun weekend!

Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com", if you're going to be naughty, try to hide it from Google.




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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 6:24 PM 4 comments

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Just A Quickie Today


Class, as I'm speeding through the classroom returning your homework papers, I wanted to inform you of a new wiki I began today on Zimbio. I already have a Squidoo lens called Funny Blogs, but you know how your ravenous blondalicious teacher is--she just can't seem to stop creating something new every day!

So if you'd like to add your humor content to this new wiki, I'm issuing you the invitation today. Click here and add away.

Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com", I've added YOU to my Squidoo lens, how could I not?! Zimbio is a different animal, however, and it's managed in it's own way.

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 5:06 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Filtering Out The Freaks-Hot Blogging Tip Of The Day


Class, whaddya know? Your teacher is high on life this week, and I'm back with another post with hot blogging tips, so Listen Up! My inspiration angels knocked me on the head as I read my morning email in my BLACK SILK TEDDY. The email came from an established blogger Andy Wibbels to whom I subscribe. Maybe some of you've heard of him? The title of the email read, "Virgin Territory", and since I'd just posted about loosing my blog contest virginity yesterday, I thought what an amazing coinky-dink-- maybe I need to read this post.

After sipping more of my latte, I clicked on the invitation and link to Andy's first podcast after reading his enticing introduction: "You know I'm a bit nuts. And I have been blessed the past several years to find other folks just as nutty as I am. One of these prime nutter-butters is my good chum audio marketing djinn Rob Schultz."

Since you KNOW all too well that your blondalicious teacher loves nutter-butter types, how could I resist? I wanted to see some nutty -butters in action slaying my favorite sacred cows. Don't you love this kind of stuff too? Admit it!

Ok...here's my critique of their first podcast: NOT NUTTY enough! Good beginning. More smiles needed. More goofiness. More nuts! However, my ears perked up when these two bitched about the Freak Filter! How do you deal with the crazies with some of the bizarre requests received? Speaking of requests, I see from the poll results that you'd like your teacher to join the Mile High Club. Mahalo for the suggestion! Blush!

There are some crazy commenters out there and people with balls up the ying yang, aren't there? I receive them too! Of course, their comments don't make it past my freak-filter, so I don't even know why they bother. Besides, they might receive a knock on their door from one of the goons of my Uncle Vinnie! So if they're smart, they'll think twice before leaving a comment.

Since my blog is a bit on the crazy/fun/wild/weird side, I take full responsibility in attracting my share of them. But whatcha going to do? I despise reading boring posts as much as I dislike writing them! Actually, I'm rather amused by some of the retards that post comments, and even though you'll never see the comments here, I have to give them credit for making me smile in the mornings.

My Hot Blogging Tip Of The Day: Take the freaks in stride. There's a nut in every bag. Some of these nuts add sizzle to your day. Crunch them up and spit them out.

How about your, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"? Do you attract freaks too?

Don't forget to join in the contest fun at my other blog, Who's Yo Mama?!


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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 12:07 PM 8 comments

Monday, August 13, 2007

Blog Virginity and Other True Life Tales of Blog Horror


Class, I'm absolutely horrified! And I'm asking you to help your blondalicious teacher out here! Console me and answer my poll below! Or enter my contest!

You see, I've gone and done it! Confession: I am no longer a Blog Contest Virgin! I know....I know what you're thinking! Your OWN sassy teacher. She of the black silk teddy, naughty lingerie, and feisty words actually started a blog contest of her own? Yes, tis true!

I wanted to experience how it felt, plus I wanted to see if offering a $50 Gift Certificate would make me excited, generous, loved, and happy! And it did. It did.... for a while.

Thus, on my Who's Yo Mama? blog, I've posted my first contest. I'm no longer a virgin. Late last night while the meteors were whizzing by and I was sooo excited watching them streak through the dark night sky, I recruited Elvis Presley from the grave to sing for my readers in a YouTube video on my blog contest. The contest rules are to subscribe to my blog and express feelings/thoughts/memories about the gorgeous song I selected titled, "I'll Remember You".

And here's where the horror part happens: are you ready??? Not one single eensy weensy reader has dared to enter the contest thus far! It's not like I asked someone to create a designer outfit for me with the hopes that it would fit me perfectly. It's not as if I asked someone to even link to me. It's not as if I asked a reader to do anything challenging. How hard is it to subscribe to a blog? Duh! Click click! You're done. How hard is it to blog about Elvis and a beautiful song? Double Duh!

Have I given my blog contest virginity away for nothing I'm asking myself in the light of day? Will anyone ever enter my contest? Oh, the horrors!

So here's what I want to know from you, my beloved students. I'm running a poll. Answer honestly, or I'll swat you.

  • Whatever, pour yourself a martini.
  • Next is the Mile High Club baby!
  • Whatever. Madonna lost hers multiple times.
  • It was totally worth it.
  • Give it time. It only hurts for a little while.


Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"--have you lost yours too?

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 12:33 PM 5 comments

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

How To Get Six-Pack Blog Abs


Class, I've been busy researching the best blogging work-out tips for you, and I'm back today with the TWO best techniques to rip your blog and to achieve those six-pack blog abs. Your six-pack abs will be irresistible to other bloggers, so Listen Up!

My instruction won't include techniques to link-bait, game the system, manipulate or con your blog into the best shape it's ever been in or even attract a gadzillion Digg readers through trickery. No, my six-pack blog system takes dedication, will power, patience, and time, but if you follow my system, your blog ab's will be rock-hard baby!

First Hot Tip For Building Your Blog Abs: Other blog teachers may teach you that cardio is the way to go--spitting out those blog posts day after day and never letting-up until you're out of breath and inspiration. Not me!

It's important to use variable blogging insteady of steady state cardio. What is variable blogging you ask? It's simply blogging whenever you have something you really want to post.

For example, you may have something you want to communicate every day for a week, and then at other times, you may not feel like posting for two weeks. This stop-and-go and resulting recovery period is essential to build strong blog abs and keep your blog muse refreshed and titillated.
These short bursts of exertion insure your blog abs will steadily grow stronger, and you won't grow bored with blogging.

After all, who really wants to read your posts day in and day out? Snore!!!

Your core group of readers want excitement, thrills, hot-ness, and spice.
Can you do that 24/7? I don't think so.

Second Hot Tip For Building Your Blog Abs: Mix up your blog posts. Surprise people!

If you've hit a plateau with working out your blog's abs, the answer is to mix it up. For example, you've been performing blog squats (also known as leaving a$ kissing comments on the big boyz blogs), and you've hit a plateau with no big-name bloggers leaving comments on your blog or comments are few and far between. You've grown discouraged.

Instead of blog squats, mix-it-up by adding weights to your blog
. Adding weights could be anything that's not normal for your blog posts.

If you've got a serious blog, post about something whimsical, funny, or silly. If you've got a tight blog niche, add something totally different. Whatever you do, stop the blog squats!

I am thinking of following this sage advice, even if I've written it myself. Maybe I'll doing something radical like running a blog contest or writing a pay per post or.....gasp, adding Adsense ads! Just kidding on that last one. You will know that your blondalicious teacher has really gone over the edge if you ever see those annoying insect ads on this blog.

I wish to thank the blogger Shaun Low for inspiring this post. And Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com", I hope you're staying in shape. If not, come on over, and I'll give you a work-out!










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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 6:38 PM 27 comments