Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My Meeting With St. Paul

Class, as some of you know, I've not been playing hooky and having fun, fun, fun! Oh no, I've been battling a vicious virus. Yesterday was the first day I've been somewhat lucid. The rest of the time has been spent in blog bardo where candidates for crossing-over hang-out....not a great place, I assure you. But an educational place nonetheless.

So since I'm the sassy, impatient type--the blondalicious teacher you've grown to love--I decided to knock on Heaven's Gate and call-out St. Peter to see whassup. Was this my time to go to Heaven? I wanted answers.

Here's some of our conversation:

Blog-Blond: Hey, I've been an industrious, diligent blogger and have been quite addicted to the sport of it. Is there any way I can blog in Heaven should I feel the urge? Are there Heavenly Bloggers?

St. Peter: I'm quite sorry to inform you we're not set up for bloggers. See that pile of rubble over there? {He pointed to a large junk pile} In that pile, you'll discover many shiny Google Vanity rings, Page Rank Status shrinkage scores, Technorati Authority scores, Alexa graphs, and many, many blog dreams.

Blog-Blond: {Horrified!} You mean I can't even take the satisfaction of doing a good job with me to Heaven? I understand about the Google Rings because Google has alienated lots of bloggers by lowering their page rank. But you'd think all of us who were just blogging for the joy of it should be able to take this joy with us.

St. Peter: Oh you can take the joy with you alright. No problemo! BUT if there is any false ego, money desires, narcissism, schemes to win friends, and/or piss-off your enemies, all of these will be stripped off the joy. Only the joy will go with you.

Blog-Blond: No wonder you're not set-up for bloggers in Heaven!

And what do you think, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 1:11 PM 3 comments

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Heard It Through The Blogvine--Is Big Brother OnThe Move?

Class, as you WELL know your blondalicious teacher is all over the blogosphere. Sometimes I leave comments....sometimes I don't. Sometimes I read on my RSS reader...sometimes I read your posts I've favorited on Technorati. Sometimes I just surf around letting my blog nose lead me to juicy stuff. You never know where I'll show up!

And it's this way that I sniff out the blogsosphere Zeitgeist. Since some of my new students might fathom I'm unaware as judged by a recent bizarre comment left for me and to which I responded with another comment (while I kicked this idiotic commenter's astral a$$ all the way beyond Pluto!), I may play stupid like Pamela Anderson or other famous blonde's (and yes, I KNOW the word 'blond' is sometimes spelled 'blonde' and who really gives a shit?!), but you know how much I love to tease and play!!! And if you were able to read that sentence and grok what I meant, come play with me! Let's trade linkz!

This is why I read many, many blogs....everything from the big boyz like Shoemoney & Chow (baby!)to Andy Beard to blogs that are totally heart-driven to tech blogs. I read posts by lonesome bloggers, hungry bloggers, grouchy bloggers, whiny bloggers, needy bloggers, funny bloggers, well-meaning bloggers, ambitious money-hungry bloggers and pathetic bloggers where I'm the only showing up for the post party. But that's me. I AM the BLONDALICIOUS teacher. This is my job and my passion. Correction: one of my MANY passions!

The point I'm trying to make is this:

Lately I've read many posts by bloggers who are concerned about the loss of their former Google Page Rank status because they say they've been penalized for using Text Link advertising on their blogs. Some are really quite upset such as Bryan of One Man's Goal.

He's one of many. How do you feel about this?

Personally, I gave up on most advertising long ago when I realized that most blog advertising revenue was just Chump Change, but I understand that others are more driven than me. I'm still waiting for My Prince Charming with Big Bucks to sponsor my blog. Some bloggers actually do quite well with text link ads and other ads, even though most smaller bloggers don't see that kind of success.

How do you feel about this serious matter, Mr. "Humor-blogs.com"?










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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 6:43 PM 16 comments

Monday, October 08, 2007

That's How I Roll

Class, your once-very-sick teacher is now back in the classroom and cracking the whip! And guess what? I don't even need a doctor's report because I'm the teacher! And teachers can get by with all sort of s***. In this case, my down-time is all true, and I've really, really not been out clubbing and carousing!

With even more time away from you-- my beloved students--I've accumulated a back-log of homework for you...should you be diligent and industrious! Did I hear a groan? Good, that's what I want to hear because when I considered your homework assignment, I groaned and thought:

Who has time for ALL this?

Whom can I hire for a BLOG-JOB?

Why bother?

What's it worth to me?

When will I do this...when the proverbial hell freezes over?
Answer: Most Likely!

Will my naughty students do their homework?
Answer: Not likely!

What were these people thinking who compiled these lists?

Who are these people who compiled these lists--some new species of nerd/geek borgs?

Who gives the best blog-jobs?

Why is blogging beginning to feel like *gasp* work?

Where does blogging and obligation fit?

Why doesn't someone pitch-in and do this boring stuff for me? :Grump:

My thoughts may seem a tad toxic, but THAT'S HOW I ROLL!

What do you expect from a teacher who's been stuck in bed????

Your homework/mission should you choose to accept it:

5000 Resources To Do Just About Anything Online (except help me out of course!)

55 Active RSS Directories To Help Promote Your Blog (load up a case of Red Bull!)

And for a good read of a blogger's wake-up call, read this post which I discovered via Deborah via Facebook. When you read it, I'm sure many of you will be able to relate. I sure did. And I too disabled comments for a period of time on some of my blogs....but then I enabled them again and just stopped obsessing about them.

After having released the posting and comment-craving desires, I felt much bettah--you know that one, right?! It was like I was ME again. Free again!

I'm sure you totally understand this Mr. "Humor-blogs.com"?

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 2:32 PM 7 comments

Monday, October 01, 2007

Blog World Expo Contest

Class, your teacher is a bit under the weather, so I'm gonna make this post a brief one. I'm entering this silly contest just because my favorite blog curmudgeon/blogger Blog Bloke shared with me that he might be speaking at the upcoming Blog World Event in Las Vegas, and I wanna meet him in the flesh.

Even though I just recently returned from Las Vegas, there are many other bloggers I'd like to check-out as well at this November event, so your blondalicious teacher is going for it! Perhaps you might like to enter as well? First, you need to have at least one of your blogs accepted at Fuel My Blog. That's step one.

Next, you have to post this:

"To enter you need to the following simple steps:-

1. Create a post on your blog by copying/pasting the following text

"If I win fuelmyblog's prize and win the ticket to go to BlogWorld Expo, I would like to be introduced to Mike Arrington"

2. Replace the XXXX's with one of the following names (have linked their blogs if you don't recognise their names):-

Mike Arrington, Jason Calacanis, Arianna Huffington, Leo Laporte, Matt Mullenweg, Will Leitch, Dave Taylor, Aaron Wall

3. Tag your post fuelmyblog and blogworldexpo and send us a link to the post here with your fuelmyblog user name."

Should I win, I plan to come in deep disguise as I always do--it's much more fun this way! Don't you agree, Mr. "Humor-Blogs.com"?

P.S. Ya'll been really pushing me with the spam comments. I've let some through because they're (mostly) legit. I'll write more about how I get suckered into letting some spam comments through in another post.

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 1:24 PM 8 comments