Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Top Five Twitter Turn-Offs

Class: I know you must be wondering where I've been, and I could lie to you and tell you all sorts of b.s., but in truth, I've been studying the ins-and-outs of Twitter.

Since receiving funding last year, Twitter has rapidly grown in popularity, and now more and more followers are crowding my Inbox every day! I'm terrified to open my email now because it's clogged with Twitter followers. The munchkins of the world are now twittering away.

What's going on is a massive mainstream awareness of Twitter, and so non-techies, marketers, hustlers, and freaks of every shape are jumping onboard. Some of these new Twitter folk don't even make a post before they begin adding hundreds of people--a complete no-no in my book!

Listen Up to read My Top Five Twitter Turn-Offs, and puhhlease don't make these mistakes!

1. Do NOT DM me with a link to a freebie 'anything', gift, or course. Don't DM me to plug yourself or your company. GROAN! Unless I know you, I'll delete your DM in a NY City second. Just because I accepted you as a friend and followed you back doesn't give you the right to annoy me and tell me how effing great you are.

2. Do NOT follow me, and then after I've followed you back, you then unfollow me for I'll track your rotten a** down and immediately unfollow you. You'll have accomplished nothing with your stupid little gaming. I have a LONG memory, and I'll block ya. Ya better believe it.

3. Do NOT DM me a message to follow you on Facebook and then NOT follow me on Twitter. What kind of fool are you? Your ego needs a shrink wash, and I'm the gal to crack the whip!

4. Do NOT reply to me with stupid pick-up lines such as, for example, this one: "Tell me all about yourself. I can't wait to get to know you." Barf me out. Like I'm gonna spill the beans to a total stranger in 160 characters.

5. Do NOT leave your face off your profile. I wanna see you. If you've not even taken the time to fill out your profile with a fake face, I'm totally uninterested. Besides, you're probably a scammer.

Actually I have MORE than five turn-offs, but I'll get around to them later. Now I'm sliding into the jacuzzi with my glass of Cristal to completely forget about Twitter turn-offs. I'd rather be turned on!

And after having said all this, if you behave, you can follow me on Twitter! Hah!

This will be going up on "Humor-blogs.com".

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Posted by kuanyin333 at 6:58 PM


  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Wednesday, January 28, 2009  
    I promise to be a good boy, besides; I follow you and you follow me :-)

    For others who likes to Turn me On, here is mine.
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Saturday, January 31, 2009  
    What are your top 5 Twitter turn ons? What are the things you like most about Twitter that is!!
  • Blogger kuanyin333 posted at Saturday, January 31, 2009  
    That--My Top Five Twitter Turn-On's is the subject of my next post!
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at Thursday, February 26, 2009  
    thanks for that. i'm new at twitter, and now know the ground rules.
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