Monday, March 16, 2009

Twit Wit

Class: I'm sure you're aware many celebrities and personalities use Twitter. I have several twitter accounts--one which is highly classified and secret--the one I use with my celeb buds.

Here's a sampling of your sassy blondalicious teacher's DM's:

THE_REAL_SHAQ It's proper etiquette to leave flip flops outside, esp. size 24's!

Wossy Couldn't make lunch. It feels undignified to explain.

richardbranson Not upset because your swan chased me. Birds like me.

TheEllenShow Enjoyed the rabbit pupus. You're kidding, right?

aplusk Loose the hats. Tell Brad 2

stephenfry Luv my Louboutins--u can borrow

jamie_oliver Tempura pickle? Oh hell no!

jimmyfallon Appreciate ur invite. Letting you simmer first

lady gaga Designed something for ya--don't know if squirrels will like

perezhilton Save frills for TMZ

iamdiddy Dined at Nobu w snoop--don't ask.

MCHammer Want the extension cords back asap. Change it up.

This post goes on "Humor-Blogs.com".

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 6:02 PM 14 comments

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Confused About Social Networking?

Class, this is another one of my famous quickie posts. I wanted to add my two cents to the current debate about social networking, the pros and cons. There have been many blog posts written on this subject matter in recent months since the mad growth of Facebook and Twitter.

If you're questioning whether to jump into social networking, here are my hot social networking tips:

1. You don't need to spend hours and hours on end at these locations. Stick your big toe in the social networking waters and explore little by little. Pick one and begin from there. If you don't like it, pick another. There are plenty to choose from, and each has their own advantages and lures. My inner teenager likes Plurk because of the funny icons and the abundance of Second Lifers using this site.

Your blondalicious teacher doesn't let her precious time get sucked by these sites and doesn't respond to EVERY game, suggestion, invitation, response, or seductive trick. Be selective, discerning, and monitor your time.

Of course, your blondalicious teacher floats everywhere, but that's just me: curious and insatiable.

2. Email isn't where the action is these days. Read Write Web posted the latest research about this subject titled, "Social Networking Now More Popular Than Email, Report Finds." So if you really wanna find out what's going on and get off the bench, social networking is the place to hang.

3. You're zero obliged to give your legitimate name. Use a handle as do many wise ones. When you're running around the Big Wide World of Social Networks, handles are far bettah because you'll encounter everything under the sun and then some on these social networks. Once again, be discerning, cautious, and street smart.

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 1:38 PM 11 comments

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Five Silly Twitter Games

Class, I'm here today to speak about Twitter once again. Twitter has become a huge playground as it's become more known to the mainstream. And like all playgrounds, it has attracted it's gamers, bullies, charlatans, and trouble-makers.

I'm going to share some of the *games* currently popular on Twitter. Perhaps you've experienced them as well if you're on Twitter?

I call these games by the catchall name: Cat and Mouse.

Here's five common games I've encountered:

1. Twits follow and unfollow you many times so they will rise to the top of your follow list and be more visible. The strategy is so others will see them and hopefully follow them. So far I've not blocked any of these tricksters because I wanted to experience how many times a day they perform this move. Eventually, I will block them. BUT I'm curious to see which one has the most follow/unfollow score prior to my doing so.

I won't name the winner, but since I've been observing this strange bot or person or weirdo's game, the winner over the course of a week has followed/unfollowed me 12 times!

Their names and details have been turned over to Uncle Vinnie and his fellahs.

2. Another game is to follow and then immediately block you. This type of gamer has a weird avatar and don't attract many followers for the above reason. Their days are numbered for eventually the Twitter Gods will kick them out, or Uncle Vinnie will pay them a call.

3. A hugely popular Twitter game is to mass follow other people, and then as soon as a twit reaches their 2,000 follower limit, they pause. Once they have enough followers to follow them back, they unfollow all or most of the original followers, and once again repeat the process. This is how they build their twitter follower numbers. They're hoping that their unfollow hasn't been noticed, and frequently the unfollow has been overlooked since people are so very busy these days. These twits names have been dutifully noted as well and turned over to Uncle Vinnie who has his ways.

4. The DM marketing game is huge. If you don't respond to their DM marketing, gifts, invitations to visit their blog and appeals to make money with them, these pests unfollow/drop ya within the week. These folks are strictly working the numbers and are a scourge. Their pushy marketing and desperation won't serve them. Maybe in the year 2012, they'll catch on.

5. By far the most annoying game of all is the one where a twit really wants to catch your attention and flirt, and thus, such twits ask the stupidest, lamest questions in a DM or reply. Since I'm a tough, take-no-prisoners blondalicious diva, I do what I do best: sip more Cristal, roll-over in bed, ignore them and LAUGH!

This post will go up on "Humor-blogs.com".

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Posted by Kuanyin Moi at 1:05 PM 6 comments